Unicorn Emma

Stand Back up, Love. Smile: Maybe I'm being silly....

laursicle:

But I don’t get this whole “coming out” thing. I mean, they’ll igure it out on their own the second you bring home someone of your gender or someone who is transgender, or whom ever it may be. I think the build up behind “coming out” and the even itself are kind of over done? I guess. I mean,…

People are assumed to be cis and hetero until proven otherwise, which is why cis hetero people don’t have to come out. Maybe someday, in the distant future, people will stop assuming the gender/sexual identity of other people, but until then, if I don’t say, “Hi, I’m bi,” people will think I’m hetero. And I don’t like that when those people are my friends and close family.

It’s absolutely fantastic that your parents will love you no matter who you love, but not everyone is that lucky. Some people are kicked out of their homes because of who they love—and I don’t blame them for wanting to find out if that’s going to happen BEFORE they bring home a partner to introduce to the fam’. Imagine: Bringing home a girlfriend/boyfriend/othergenderfriend and having them witness a huge blowup and fight with the parents, putting the partner as risk for being insulted or attacked… Why wouldn’t someone want to avoid that? A good way to avoid it: Come out BEFORE bringing someone home.

And even if everyone involved will be kind about it, it’s still nice to give a little warning so your people don’t stand around going, “Whaaa?” It can be embarrassing for you and them—remember, they’re learning something new and possibly very surprising about you. They might also be hurt that you DIDN’T take the time to talk to them, explain it to them, etc.

There’s also the possibility that without saying it explicitly, parents/family/friends won’t understand what your relationship is. This is especially true for women, since we refer to our woman friends as “girlfriends,” so if I didn’t say, “This is my girlfriend. As in, I’m bisexual and I am attracted to women and this particular woman is my girlfriend like X is my brother’s girlfriend,” there’s the possibility that people will think we’re just friends. And that isn’t much fun.

AND THEN there’s just wanting to be open. One of the best things about coming out is not having to censor yourself as much anymore. The same way I can call a man cute, I can now call a non-man cute without confusing people. I can talk about crushes I have, relationships I’ve been in, my dream home/wedding/life.

TL;DR: Good for you, not wanting a formal coming out, but there are lots of reasons why people do it and it isn’t cool to say they’re being anti-equality or whatever for doing what’s best for them.