Unicorn Emma

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Posts tagged with "relationships"

Just an update.

My girlfriend has been in my state for the past two weeks. We’ve been together for most of that time, and I love her, and we’re pretty happy together as far as I know. She’s going back home in a day and a half, and I won’t get to see her again before she leaves because of work. But we said our good-byes and I miss her already.

We were mostly vegan during her visit, which was exciting and frustrating and both satisfying and unsatisfying. I’m going to remain mostly vegan, except at work, where dairy is in most or all of the leftovers to which I am allowed to help myself. I’m choosing to continue eating these leftovers because (1) they’re free and a vegan diet is expensive and (2) they will all be thrown away if they don’t get eaten and no one else will eat them. My eating them will not increase how much food is made in the future, so I’m not increasing the supply/demand thing, and wasting food is bad. But I won’t be buying non-vegan foods or eating non-vegan non-leftovers at work.

On a very different note, my dog, who I’ve had for about ten years, was put to sleep a few days ago. My mom didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to put a damper on my visit with my girlfriend, and I met my grandmother in the driveway, just as I was about to go in my mom’s house, so she told me. She thought I knew, so I learned she was dead by my grandmother saying, “You’ve heard about Smokey, right?” Sucky way to find out, but at least I didn’t make it into the empty house and looking for her. Tabia walked with me to the little grave in the backyard. We were expecting it, because Smokey was deaf and going blind and was getting to where she couldn’t stand up on her own anymore, but still. Anyway. Most of the time when shitty things happen, Tabia is across the country. Since it had to happen, I’m at least glad Tabia was there to hold my hand. It’s still really weird to think that she’s dead.

I’m quite lucky, on the other hand, that my grandmother is still alive. Soon after Tabia arrived, my mom called to say that my grandmother was extremely sick and in the hospital—only there because my mom practically carried her there. My grandmother’s husband, turns out, was basically going to sit at home, in another room, while my grandmother died on the couch because he didn’t want to wait for help at the ER. (He had only grudgingly called to tell Grandmother’s sister that she was sick, and my great-aunt had called my mom, who politely told him to fuck off because she was quite clearly dying.) Thankfully, Grandmother is now recovering from the very bad case of pneumonia after having to stay in the hospital several days.

What else is there…?

Should “polyamorous” fall under the “queer” umbrella?

Just for reference, queer does not just mean gay. Queer is a very broad umbrella term, and as an umbrella term, includes different sexual orientations as well as gender identities and sexualities (such as BDSM)… I’m just wondering if it should also include the non-mainstream relationship styles, such as polyamory. Thanks for the answers so far, and thanks in advance for more answers.

Getting over my jealousy and recognizing what I have and what she needs is tough but not impossible.

My girlfriend is dating another woman. Tomorrow, she’s going on a friendly date with someone she met on OkCupid. Other things are happening for her like that. This is all very new for us, and I am happy that she’s happy, but it happens that she’s experiencing a reprieve from her loneliness at the same time my new job is making me feel lonely. Third shift pretty much destroys social life.

So, I’m a bit jealous of her new social life, even though it would have to expand quite a bit before it matched the one I have on my days off. Need to get this in perspective. I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to be lonely. I’m doing fine. I got this.

Where to live with my girlfriend in the future?

We’re looking for a place….

Not huge—preferably under 100k people (significantly, if possible).
Liberal, preferably a university town.
Plenty of things to do and veg*n restaurants.
Not terribly cold (for her) and not freakishly hot (for me).
Plenty of racial/ethnic diversity.

Not in Kentucky or California. Preferably somewhere in the middle, but that isn’t necessary. Somewhere in the USA.

Okay, Tumblr, GO!

Saint Decadence: This is probably untrue.

saintdecadence:

deviantfemme:

But, I can’t help but sometimes think that people wouldn’t be poly if they were in an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship.

But, I’m going to qualify that this is completely related to my own experience bias.

Yes, this is untrue. And, even if you didn’t mean it, this kind of thinking is quite condescending.

I mean, I don’t see why you seem to make a distinction between “an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship” and polyamorous ones. These aren’t mutually exclusive, at least, to my knowledge. Just because some people find monogamous couplings sufficient to their desires that doesn’t invalidate the fact that such relationship structures do not work for everyone. And it isn’t because poly-folks are just doing it wrong or something.

I’m in a very satisfying relationship, physically and emotionally and intellectually. Thinking that poly people need more than one person because their relationships are all “less” than a happy mono couple is just…ignorant, like OP said. It’s demeaning. Lesbians aren’t lesbians because they “haven’t met the right guy,” and poly people aren’t poly because they’re less happy than mono people. Believe it or not, some people are happiest outside what you might think is “best.”

Can we get a polyamory option for Facebook relationships? I’m tired of this monogamous bullshit.

Have you joined “Facebook Should Recognize Polyamory”?

longdistancethings:

Submitted by inkwelliris

I do this all the time.  “Let’s go to the kitchen,” or “I’m taking you upstairs.”

longdistancethings:

Submitted by inkwelliris

I do this all the time.  “Let’s go to the kitchen,” or “I’m taking you upstairs.”